Surprisingly, I just received email from a former colleague that hasn’t said boo to me in years. Now that she’s been displaced from her job, she wants my help (and I assume others) to connect her to new opportunities in other corporate accounts. Hum. I’m all for lending a helping hand…
AND I think it’s just a tad rude to ask me to do something for you when you haven’t kept in touch, nor did you offer to do anything for me in return.
People please don’t let this be you. I am empathetic to people finding themselves suddenly out of work. But it is up to you to keep your network fresh and to stay in touch with people regularly even IF you have a great job today. Lack of time cannot be your excuse. Not when you have plenty of social tools to make your life just a little bit easier.
Remember, you never know when you might need someone’s help down the road. If you haven’t done your part cultivating the relationship, then don’t expect a lot when you need something.
Barb, I’m so with you on this. I had someone I’d been trying to do business with. She wouldn’t give me the time of day. No return email. No return phone call. Months later, she lost her job and had the audacity to contact me for help. She was on my “list” so I gave her a link to monster.com!
Barb, glad to know I am not the only one who is annoyed by this. Its akin to when (probably the same person) tells me how busy they are as an excuse for not responding. Who isnt busy? One more, the person who answers the phone to tell me they can’t talk right now. Voice mail tells me the same thing.
Gary
Thanks Peggy and Gary! It seems some have forgotten some of the very basics in social etiquette. At least have the courtesy to offer something in return.
Oh, yes — I get calls all the time from women, who, practically out of breath, tell me: “I’ve just been laid off and now I’ve got to start networking!” “Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty”, by Harvey Mackay, ought to be required reading before anyone gets a high school diploma – with a refresher at college graduation time!
I think you’re all being a little harsh. People get busy, lose contact, and some just aren’t good at ‘keeping in touch’. I’d look at a plea for help from someone in your past as an opportunity – not an annoyance. But that’s just me.
Sometimes the truth hurts, Ron. Yes, people get busy and lose contact. It happens. And isn’t it interesting how people can all of a sudden find time to connect when they “want something”?
By the way, it wasn’t that this individual hadn’t talked to me in 5 years. It was the tone of the EMAIL message. In this type of situation, perhaps a phone call might have been better. But her email didn’t say…”Hey, Barb how are you? I’ve not done a good job staying in touch, and I feel badly about that, because now I need a favor.” Or, maybe – just maybe – she could have offered to do something for me in return for assisting her. Nope, her message was all about what she wanted.
Through the years, I have helped plenty of people connect to business opportunities, other people and jobs. In this case, harsh though it may be…sorry…it’s just not my problem.