by guest author, Peggy Parks, The Parks Image Group

I had never networked until I started my business and was absolutely petrified. What should I do? What should I say? How do I start a conversation? How do I end a conversation? What do I talk about? How do I approach people? What do I wear? It was all so overwhelming. Therefore I’ve decided to assemble this “cheat sheet” for those of you who may feel uncomfortable mingling in a room full of strangers. Read this before you leave the house!
 
Before the Event: Have a Plan

• Where are you going?
• Why are you going?
• Who will be there?
• What is your goal?

Make sure you have plenty of business cards (neatly organized in a card holder) and a pen and notepad. Clear out your wallet and handbag to avoid any embarrassing spills.

Have your “elevator pitch” ready. An “elevator pitch” is essentially a spiel you give in the time it takes to ride an elevator (anywhere from 30-60 seconds). Hit the major bullet points – who you are, what you do, what you’re looking to accomplish - and be prepared to recite this throughout the event.

When You First Arrive 

1. Survey the room. As you approach the door, take a moment to check your posture, adopt a relaxed and confident facial expression, and determine whether or not anyone you know is inside. Take a deep breath – it’ll help you calm those nerves. 
2. Make conversation. Approach someone who is standing alone – most likely they’ll be grateful for the effort. Do not interrupt people who are deep in conversation, and do not invade others’ personal space. If you’re still at a loss, introduce yourself to the host or check-in person; oftentimes they are happy to make introductions to get the party going.

What to Say
We all know to stay away from politics and religion, but you should also make sure that you leave your personal life behind. Don’t talk about health issues. Do not criticize the venue or the food. Do not gossip.
 
Check the headlines and be aware of what’s going on in the news. This will give you a conversation starter. “What do you think of….?” This way you can gauge the person’s opinion and respond accordingly. There’s less chance of offending someone.
 
The easiest thing to do is ask others to talk about themselves. We all love to do this. Even if the person you are talking to is boring, be mindful; do not make them feel uncomfortable. Listen to them, nod, agree, be in a forward position, and look at them, not at who is coming through the door!

Should the person not know how to stop talking, you need to make a graceful exit. Do not make them feel bad. Smile; tell them you enjoyed the conversation and that you need to mingle with others.

Business Cards
I attended an event earlier this year. The event had already started and I noticed a woman who came in late. Before she sat at a table, she made sure she distributed her business card to everyone in the room. She was trying to be “discreet” but was very disruptive and rude. The woman next to me said, “Peggy, she needs to take your etiquette class.” What was she thinking? (She wasn’t.) Do not hand out your business card unless someone asks for it. All they will do is throw it away. Do not assume you can add someone to your distribution list simply because you have their contact info. Networking is about forming relationships, not selling yourself. People won’t buy from you unless they know you, like you, and trust you. It all takes time. Research shows that it takes seven “touches” for people to remember you. Exercise a little patience and take the time to forge a connection.
 
What to Wear
If you want to “work the room,” I recommend that you wear friendly and approachable colors such as a medium brown, a medium blue, or earth tones (if they are flattering to your skin tone). Wearing black may be a bit intimidating.

Wear a jacket which has two pockets. It will help when giving out your business card. Put your business cards in your right pocket, and put the business cards you receive in your left pocket (or vice versa). This will prevent the embarrassment of giving out someone else’s business card!
 
Following Up
This is the most important part of networking. Don’t let a great connection slip through your fingers because you were too lazy to follow up!

1. Enter your contacts into your database. Include a few notes so that you can recall what you discussed.
2. Pay it forward by making connections and introductions. Not every person you meet will present a business opportunity for you – yet. But by connecting someone with another contact who may be in the same field you can impress two friends, who will more than likely return the favor down the road.
3. Send a thank you note or email if you are short on time.
4. Check back a month later.
5. Connect on social media. LinkedIn and Facebook – provided your profile is professional, not personal – can be a great way to keep in touch.

Peggy M. Parks is an international image consultant and founder of The Parks Image Group, Inc. in Atlanta, Georgia. Custom corporate workshops on professional business attire and etiquette, private one-on-one consulting that features a personal and individually crafted image plan and wardrobe planning and selection form the core services Peggy’s company provides. www.theparksimagegroup.com

This morning, for about 5 minutes, I ranted, raved and stomped around my office wondering why some people either cannot or will not follow specific instructions. Why do some people just insist on doing it their way, no matter how many times you ask them to “follow it exactly as I’ve described here”?

For some things, like running your sales territory, maybe you don’t need specific instructions that detail what you should do with each and every minute of your day. Not all team members will need to do things the exact same way in order to achieve results. But for other things, like when you are working with technology, as an example, following the exact instructions usually means something either ends up working, or it doesn’t. Some instructions are meant to be followed!

The final irony…

The same individuals who blatantly ignore instructions, invariably will point the finger of blame at someone else when things fail to go as planned.

At the first of this year, I blogged about my respect for the approach that Chris Brogan takes with setting new goals. Tried his approach myself in 2009…I was pretty pleased with the results. Naturally, I wanted to challenge myself with Chris’ process again in 2010, which I did (and have), but I also said that I would be back in a few days to share with you my three words for the new year with you on my blog. I missed my deadline. I’m back now, and I’ll share my “key 3″ in just a minute.

Before I do…

As I climbed the sales ranks while still working in corporate America, I was conditioned to keep business and personal separate. Don’t discuss things like politics or religion or any other controversial subject for that matter. Don’t want to risk offending your buyer.  It’s that same conditioning that leads companies to fear social networking, blogs and the like. Understandable. You don’t want your employees to “blurt” anything and everything out there on the world wide web. It stays there. Forever. That’s why guidelines must be established, training given and appropriate management oversight put in place to ensure that employees don’t go to far off the corporate reservation.

And…

If 2009 taught us anything, it’s that we must bring transparency, openness and trust back into our working relationships. In short, we need to be more human with each other. It’s OK to share what motivates you or knocks you down in life. That’s all part of being human. And that leads me to the reason why I disappeared for just a bit.

You see, nine months after her Alzheimer’s diagnosis, my mother died on January 12, 2010. Though I knew it was coming, I was still knocked down. I had no clue what Alzheimer’s was really about before this happened. Perhaps, you don’t either. What I know now (and really wish that I didn’t!) is that the disease afflicts everyone involved. Frustrating, confusing and agonizing for the patient. About the same for the family members involved. The health and quality of life of many Alzheimer’s patients deteriorates over a period of years – not months. In that way, Mom was lucky. She isn’t suffering any longer.

The Alzheimer’s Association, which envisions a world without the disease shares a few statistics on their website, which might give you some sense of the disease’s magnitude:

• As many as 5.3 million people in the United States are living with Alzheimer’s.
• Alzheimer’s and dementia triple healthcare costs for Americans age 65 and older.
• Every 70 seconds, someone develops Alzheimer’s.
• Alzheimer’s is the seventh-leading cause of death.
• The direct and indirect costs of Alzheimer’s and other dementias to Medicare, Medicaid and businesses amount to more than $148 billion each year.

I pondered whether I would share this personal side of my life with you. In the end, I decided that it was OK. Tough things happen in our lives, which can sometimes knock the wind right out of our sails. People around us cannot help us or support us if they don’t know we need the help!

Finally, about those 3 words. My key 3 in 2010 are: Charioteer, Marksman and Physical.

• Charioteer- like the Charioteer at Delphi, I holds the reins of success in my own 2 hands.
• Marksman - this is about precision, practice, patience and teamwork.
• Physical - reminds me to get outside to connect with mother earth and exercise daily. Good health is a gift!

Most of us are busy, but undisciplined. We are active, but not focused. We are moving, but not always in the right direction. –Jack Canfield

In the things they never told me before I became an entrepreneur file is how important it is to be a good steward of time. For most of us, we start our careers working for other people who have a schedule they want us to adhere too. Even though I lived in the world of sales where there is certainly more flexibility than in your typical 8-5 “go to the office” routine, there was still structure to the day. People expected things of me at specific times. It made it easier to say no to the other stuff. After all, it might not be wise to risk the paycheck. Why then do we develop amnesia in this area when we become independent business owners?

Entrepreneur = Rainmaker

Guess what? You won’t initially have much of a salary, if any, when you first start out. Unless of course you are one of the lucky ones whose company received a million dollar cash infusion from the local venture capitalist down the street. For most of us though, WE ARE the paycheck. Every moment of our time is either billable or not. And not isn’t a good thing. You need to remember that your corporate brethren aren’t thinking this way, because if they waste time here and there – they still get their paycheck. You, however, do not.

Saying NO is hard to do.

Though it was fairly easy when I was on the corporate clock to say no to requests that would interfere with my other business obligations, what is so different now? The answer will vary depending on the person, but here are 5 reasons why I think we stumble.

1. Ego. It’s nice to feel in demand. When you are out on your own, it’s easy to feel a little disconnected and unrecognized.
2. We feel obligated. After all, someone else introduced us and suggested that the two of us meet. It is even tougher if the connector is your paying client.
3. People won’t like us. In our desire to “be nice”, we are driven to accommodate the wants of others forgetting that our own goals and priorities need to take center stage.
4. Activity is confused with effectiveness. Lots of activity doesn’t magically lead to revenue. It is the right kind of activity that does.
5. We aren’t thinking like real business owners yet. Real business owners know that their time really is money!

After the lunch meeting today that wasn’t, I was once more reminded of how important it is to think thoughtfully about what gets locked in on your calendar. An hour of my day was wasted waiting to meet someone who never called, sent a text message or an email to say he couldn’t meet with me after all. The eventual response to the email I’d sent while waiting in the restaurant was…”My apologies. I had a packed morning and did not check my calendar. Thank you for your understanding.” Maybe my response needs to be…”Here’s the bill for my time today. Thank YOU for understanding.”

On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister, a 25-year-old British medical student, became the first man to break the four-minute mile barrier. His final time was 3mins 59.4 seconds. Up until that time not only had it never been done, but no one believed that it could be done. Until Roger that is.

Bannister had a serious running setback at the 1952 Olympics, and as a result he spent two months contemplating whether he should continue to run at all. Ultimately he decided on a new goal instead – to be the first man to run a mile in under four minutes. Doing what no one believed could be done, Bannister believed in himself and visualized the possibilities, thus turning his belief into a tangible reality. And once Bannister broke the record and proved it was possible…runner after runner started following in his footsteps.

Moral of the Story

Roger Bannister reflected on his wins and his losses. Once he firmly commited himself to breaking the four minute mile, he got honest with himself about his strengths and weaknesses. With that knowledge, he put a solid plan in place to achieve his goal.

Whether you own the business or work for someone who does, Roger’s story applies to YOU. Your sales skills must be top notch because the clutter in the marketplace is deafening. If sales aren’t quite where they need to be, maybe it’s time to take an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. Until you know what is getting in your way, it’s going to be hard to turn it around.

Discussion about how to “build relationships” in the online world and what’s acceptable in terms of “how to sell your stuff” seems to be on the rise lately. That’s to be expected I suppose, especially when you see some fairly obvious multi-level marketing tactics being displayed. It is a quandary I guess, isn’t it?

The whole idea of using social media/social networking from a sales point of view is to build relationships that lead to sales. Done right, I totally believe using social media helps you to better qualify leads and shrink the sales process. That’s all good and helps you to build your business. But notice that I said “done right”. What a conundrum. If you “sell from the podium” you risk trashing your brand. And if you don’t, what’s the point of being online if you can’t convert your activity into sales?

Good questions. I don’t know if I have the “right” answers…I just have my perspective.

In over 25 years of professional selling, I can honestly say that blatant self promotion has never been in vogue. Ever. Done in the online space, it’s worse.

What leads to people to…

• Ask questions that they then answer by talking about how great they are? We are not fooled!
• Answer questions and not actually contribute to the dialog, but just yak, yak, yak about themselves and their products?
• Provide answers to questions that are clearly a push to their affiliate site? At least be honest about what you are doing.  Are you really that desperate?
• Pretend they are trying to provide value, but then they manage to “sneak in” their own stuff. Please – do you think we can’t tell?
• Not even answer the question at all, but instead sell their product instead. For example, in a recent LinkedIn group the question was “we are evaluating Achieve Global. Have you used their programs and what do you think?” This wasn’t a request for people to “pitch” their competitive product, but out of the first 5 responses – 4 did exactly that. Disgraceful!

I don’t know. Is it really that tough to just want to be in service to others knowing that you’ll get your just desserts at some other point? My belief is in the “do unto others” model…I don’t pollute the dialog with my sales pitch…maybe you could refrain from yours.

During these challenging economic times, I’ve more than once heard a business owner or sales person tell me that they didn’t connect with their current customers, because “they probably weren’t going to buy anyway.” Not only might their assumption be wrong, since when did the customer relationship become only about today’s sale?

The social web has changed the way that your customers purchase products and services! If you aren’t visible to them, you put yourself at significant risk of losing sales opportunities. Buyers these days are proactive. They educate themselves about what is available, which means that the sales process has been transformed into a “buying process.” Unfortunately, many sales people fail to realize that things have changed. Smart sales people will take advantage of the opportunities that the social web offers by being visible, staying on top of trends, looking into the future and finding ways to position themselves as a well-educated navigator who is an open influencer instead of a convincer. Become a “trusted adviser” who stays connected regardless of the economic situation.

Three 3 Tips for Reconnecting

1. Evaluate your communication process with your current customers. When is the last time you talked to them? Are they aware of all that you have to offer? Don’t assume they know. Ask yourself what you can do for them…can you make a connection for them or share a valuable piece of business information that helps them seal a deal?
2. Use tools like LinkedIn to expand your reach in an account. Who else in the company has a LinkedIn profile that you can get to know? If your current contact has moved on to other things, you can use the LinkedIn “Companies” feature to search out new connections within the account.
3. Create newsletters using email marketing products like Constant Contact. Share relevant business content to keep your customers informed about industry trends, market opportunities and the newest in what you have to offer.

Remember that your existing customer base is a gold mine of opportunity; a competitive advantage that is often overlooked. Stop randomly chasing new opportunities when “acres of diamonds” are sitting right in front of you!

Today I’m thinking about innovation, service and teamwork. As I write, I’m flying back from Washington, DC where I attended the national ASTD conference. Here I am sitting on an airplane 35,000 feet in the air able to use my itty bitty EEE PC to write my blog post. Marvelous!

Travel for me – business travel anyway – has lost a lot of its luster in the years since 9/11. In addition to all the other challenges of air flight these days – like being practically stripped down to walk through the security gates – airlines have now begun to charge us for the “privilege” of checking our bags leading many people, including myself to carry on more than we used too. Of course that typically leads to longer boarding and deplaning times, but I guess that doesn’t matter much to these airlines who often treat us more like cattle than human beings. On top of pricey airline tickets, huge penalties for making changes if your plans change, now we have to pay $15 a bag each direction if we don’t want to hassle dragging all of our bags on board. I wonder, what’s next? Is expecting great customer service just too much to ask? I am a bit cynical on this topic, so I would normally say yes. Today was a rather unexpected and thoroughly enjoyable surprise.

A Lesson in Professionalism and Teamwork

I’m traveling on the noon Delta flight #1965. As I discovered after arriving at the airport, the flight just before mine had been cancelled. That led to the usual challenges for people who had connecting flights that were now impossible to make. And it meant that my flight, which wasn’t full when I changed my travel plan this morning, now, had to accommodate those people impacted by the change. It could have been a disastrous, frustrating situation for everyone. It wasn’t!

The attendants manning this flight have to some degree restored my faith that great teamwork and stellar service do exist. Gate attendants quickly and expertly re-booked tickets and soothed frazzled feelings. Onboarding happened about as quickly as I have ever seen. This flight crew totally had it going on! They helped people get bags in the overhead bins quickly and organized them in ways that accommodated all passengers. Everyone co-operated (passengers included) and we took off right on time. Awesome!

During the early part of the flight, the air conditioning was working over time. We’re talking serious meat locker here, and as soon as attendants noticed they worked to correct the issue to ensure everyone’s comfort.

Professional, courteous, kind, efficient, friendly – what more can you ask for? This Delta team worked together like a well oiled machine, and it is obvious that they care about doing great work. Hats off to the flight crew on Delta #1965! You made my noon flight from DC to Atlanta one that was truly more pleasure than pain. Thank you! Your peers and management should take note!

If you would have told me last fall that I would now be the proud owner of an Apple iPhone 3G, I probably would have laughed. From the commercials I saw, it certainly looked like a cool, whiz bang phone, but my Windows Palm Pilot was working just fine thank you. Then, I didn’t see the need to take time to exit out of my existing phone contract and spend extra bucks just to buy another “phone”.

Isn’t funny how we often don’t know we need something until we finally have it?

AT&T did some fairly brilliant marketing just before Christmas and that led to a note one day from my boyfriend that said…”If you were to get an iPhone, would you want it in black or white?” Naturally, I was intrigued. It seems that AT&T was offering existing current customers an offer to add a line and purchase the phone at some ridiculously low price (seriously, under $100) if the deal was done by Christmas. Figuring I had nothing to lose – I could always return within the allotted time and go back to my other phone – I gave it a whirl. Within minutes of having it in my hot little hands, I was hooked.

Now that I’ve really had some time to play, here are the top 5 reasons I can’t live without my iPhone:

1. Email that is instant on. The Palm was a bit of a pain when it came to downloading email. I had to take the time to log in, download mail and then try to read it on a screen so small as to make it painful to try and read anything. I love that I can quickly check on messages in the morning without having to ramp up my laptop, the bigger screen makes reading messages pretty easy, and I admit that it’s nice to be able to check mail during the day if I feel so inclined.

2. Shazam. I’m a fan of movies and music. It wasn’t unusual for me to get excited about a movie soundtrack, promise myself that I would search it out on the internet so I could buy it, but then forget all about it later after the movie ended. Truth is, my attention span can be pretty short sometimes:) Shazam takes this into consideration, because this funky little app gives you immediate gratification. Here’s how it works. When you hear music that you like you simply hold the phone up the speakers so Shazam can “listen” and capture a clip that it then uses to find the music on iTunes. Once found, you can immediately download the music to your iPod application. Sure, it costs $.99 but who cares? Instant gratification is worth the price of admission.

3. Twitterrific and Twitter Trend. These both have to do with Twitter, which is why I chose to combine them. I love that I don’t have to go to my computer to “log into” Twitter. Twitterrific lets me keep up with the stream of tweets at my leisure. I can easily see what people are talking about, read cool articles, watch video’s or roll my eyes when I see yet another MLM email from someone who doesn’t get it. For a quick read on the top trends, I turn to Twitter Trend. In a few seconds flat, I can zero in on the hottest topics in Twitter Land.

4. Phone Flix. Until yesterday – seriously! – I pretty much never updated my NetFlix account. My super cool boyfriend basically set it up and managed it for me, because I was just too lazy to stay on top of it. Plus, I knew he’d do it for me anyway so… Anywho, during the Atlanta snowstorm yesterday as we were hanging out, I decided to give the Phone Flix app a try. It was SO easy! I didn’t even have to log in…I’m guessing Mark set that up for me too:). I was in my account in seconds and had fun moving movies around in my queue and scheduling new ones to arrive.

5. Dog Whistle. I love my dogs, Shorty & Murphy, but darn it…they have an uncanny ability to know just when I’m jumping on the telephone for an important call. They can be quiet as little meeces all day long until that very second when I dial my call. Enter Dog Whistle from AugWare. After tuning to the right frequency – the one that catches the attention of your dogs – this nifty little app emits a whistle every time the dogs bark. Now don’t get me wrong…there are many times I WANT them to bark but NOT when I need to be on the phone.

Well, there you have it. Barb’s 5 reasons why my 3G and me will never be apart.

I am a huge fan of Brian Tracy! Through the years, I have learned so much from him about how to get clear on my goals, priorities my work and use a system that let’s me gets things done quickly and easily. I hope you find his article below as helpful as I did.

Have Everything At Hand
One of the best ways for you to overcome procrastination and get more things done faster is for you to have everything you need at hand before you begin. When you are fully prepared, you are like a cocked gun or an archer with an arrow pulled back taut in the bow. You just need one small mental push to get started on your highest value tasks.

Clear Your Workspace
Begin by clearing off your desk or workspace so that you only have one task in front of you. If necessary, put everything on the floor or on the table behind you. Gather all the information, reports, details, papers, and work materials that you will require to complete the job. Have them at hand so you can reach them without getting up or moving. Be sure that you have all writing materials, computer disks, access codes, email addresses and everything else you need to start and continue working until the job is done.

Make It Comfortable
Set up your work area so that it is comfortable, attractive and conducive to working for long periods. Especially, make sure that you have a comfortable chair that supports your back and allows your feet to sit flat on the floor.

The most productive people take the time to create a work area where they enjoy spending time. The cleaner and neater your work area before you begin, the easier it is for you to get started and keep going.

Assume The Position
When you sit down, with everything in front of you, ready to go, assume the body language of high performance. Sit up straight, sit forward and away from the back of the chair. Carry yourself as though you were an efficient, effective high performing personality. Then, pick up the first item and say to yourself, “Let’s get to work!” and plunge in. And once you’ve started, keep going until the job is finished.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, take a good look at your desk or office, both at home and at the office. Ask yourself, “What kind of a person works in an environment like that?”

Second, resolve today to clean up your desk and office completely so that you feel effective, efficient and ready to get going each time you sit down to work.

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