by guest author, Peggy Parks, The Parks Image Group

I had never networked until I started my business and was absolutely petrified. What should I do? What should I say? How do I start a conversation? How do I end a conversation? What do I talk about? How do I approach people? What do I wear? It was all so overwhelming. Therefore I’ve decided to assemble this “cheat sheet” for those of you who may feel uncomfortable mingling in a room full of strangers. Read this before you leave the house!
 
Before the Event: Have a Plan

• Where are you going?
• Why are you going?
• Who will be there?
• What is your goal?

Make sure you have plenty of business cards (neatly organized in a card holder) and a pen and notepad. Clear out your wallet and handbag to avoid any embarrassing spills.

Have your “elevator pitch” ready. An “elevator pitch” is essentially a spiel you give in the time it takes to ride an elevator (anywhere from 30-60 seconds). Hit the major bullet points – who you are, what you do, what you’re looking to accomplish - and be prepared to recite this throughout the event.

When You First Arrive 

1. Survey the room. As you approach the door, take a moment to check your posture, adopt a relaxed and confident facial expression, and determine whether or not anyone you know is inside. Take a deep breath – it’ll help you calm those nerves. 
2. Make conversation. Approach someone who is standing alone – most likely they’ll be grateful for the effort. Do not interrupt people who are deep in conversation, and do not invade others’ personal space. If you’re still at a loss, introduce yourself to the host or check-in person; oftentimes they are happy to make introductions to get the party going.

What to Say
We all know to stay away from politics and religion, but you should also make sure that you leave your personal life behind. Don’t talk about health issues. Do not criticize the venue or the food. Do not gossip.
 
Check the headlines and be aware of what’s going on in the news. This will give you a conversation starter. “What do you think of….?” This way you can gauge the person’s opinion and respond accordingly. There’s less chance of offending someone.
 
The easiest thing to do is ask others to talk about themselves. We all love to do this. Even if the person you are talking to is boring, be mindful; do not make them feel uncomfortable. Listen to them, nod, agree, be in a forward position, and look at them, not at who is coming through the door!

Should the person not know how to stop talking, you need to make a graceful exit. Do not make them feel bad. Smile; tell them you enjoyed the conversation and that you need to mingle with others.

Business Cards
I attended an event earlier this year. The event had already started and I noticed a woman who came in late. Before she sat at a table, she made sure she distributed her business card to everyone in the room. She was trying to be “discreet” but was very disruptive and rude. The woman next to me said, “Peggy, she needs to take your etiquette class.” What was she thinking? (She wasn’t.) Do not hand out your business card unless someone asks for it. All they will do is throw it away. Do not assume you can add someone to your distribution list simply because you have their contact info. Networking is about forming relationships, not selling yourself. People won’t buy from you unless they know you, like you, and trust you. It all takes time. Research shows that it takes seven “touches” for people to remember you. Exercise a little patience and take the time to forge a connection.
 
What to Wear
If you want to “work the room,” I recommend that you wear friendly and approachable colors such as a medium brown, a medium blue, or earth tones (if they are flattering to your skin tone). Wearing black may be a bit intimidating.

Wear a jacket which has two pockets. It will help when giving out your business card. Put your business cards in your right pocket, and put the business cards you receive in your left pocket (or vice versa). This will prevent the embarrassment of giving out someone else’s business card!
 
Following Up
This is the most important part of networking. Don’t let a great connection slip through your fingers because you were too lazy to follow up!

1. Enter your contacts into your database. Include a few notes so that you can recall what you discussed.
2. Pay it forward by making connections and introductions. Not every person you meet will present a business opportunity for you – yet. But by connecting someone with another contact who may be in the same field you can impress two friends, who will more than likely return the favor down the road.
3. Send a thank you note or email if you are short on time.
4. Check back a month later.
5. Connect on social media. LinkedIn and Facebook – provided your profile is professional, not personal – can be a great way to keep in touch.

Peggy M. Parks is an international image consultant and founder of The Parks Image Group, Inc. in Atlanta, Georgia. Custom corporate workshops on professional business attire and etiquette, private one-on-one consulting that features a personal and individually crafted image plan and wardrobe planning and selection form the core services Peggy’s company provides. www.theparksimagegroup.com

I so love LinkedIn! This amazing business networking site boasts an impressive 65M+ user base and climbing. Roughly 65% of LinkedIn’s users are tagged as key decision makers, which is sales code for…they can buy from you! That, in and of itself, is a HUGE reason for you to use LinkedIn as a sales relationship tool that becomes a part of your natural sales/networking process. Decision makers, with money to spend, are using LinkedIn to check out your capabilities (and that of your competitor), polling colleagues for recommendations and doing research into what is available. They are talking about their like’s, dislike’s and sharing their current business frustrations and challenges. Are you listening? For sales people, LinkedIn should be the #1 place they go to prepare for their sales meeting. The amount of real-time information to be leveraged is…well…just plain staggering.

Speaking of leveraging conversation and information…I want to tell you about a really great question that was posed recently by Dana Detrick-Clark in one of my LinkedIn groups. She’s curious about the approach that others are taking in determining their blogging voice. And because the question is so applicable to “What approach do I take/voice do I use when answering group questions in a social community?”, I wanted to share Dana’s question and a part of my response.

Dana asks…Which is more important in a blog: speaking to a particular kind of reader, or speaking in your own ‘voice’? I’m curious as to what other business owners prefer, especially in business and/or marketing related blogs. Do you like the more journalistic approach, where you get “just the facts” for the information you’re after, or would you rather read a blog that’s more personal (even if that means at times it can be irreverent or reveal more personally about the author than what you normally find in a biz blog)?

Here was a portion of my answer…

You asked a great question that comes up a lot with clients. How much is too much information? Of course, like all such questions, the answer invariably is “it depends”.:)

Given that I own my business, I have more latitude with the approach I choose to take. So to be fair, I have a little more freedom when it comes to the information that I share in my blog posts. Each company has to decide what supports their core values and customer loyalty statement. But I urge companies to move away from their fear of “what could happen if someone says the wrong thing” and embrace the opportunity for building brand loyalty through media like blogs. There are a number of great stories about how companies were humanized in the eyes of their buyers and all because they “got real” on a blog. Sure, guidelines need to be established so that people know what’s cool and what isn’t (had to do it with email, remember?). From there, give employees training and then hold them accountable to be responsible when having conversations in the social space.

So what’s your take? Real in the blogosphere or not?

LinkedIn has made the Company section more robust. It is now even easier to research companies and keep up with the people changes happening with those companies.

The Improvement

You can now “follow” companies. Okay, STOP right there! Before you close your mind to it, because images of nonsensical conversation on Twitter just popped into your head, please hear me when I say that “the concept” is similar, but definitely different. This is the kind of follow that you want to engage in, because…

Sales Benefit

You will hear about key developments such as who’s joined, left or been promoted at the companies you follow, business opportunities and job openings. This moves your ability to research target companies you want to work with to another level.

Once you elect to follow a company… when you log into the Company Home Page on LinkedIn, you will see a list of updates for the companies that you follow. You will also see a “company updates” section now showing up on your LinkedIn Home Page.

This is so much easier than tracking the individual movements of people within in a company. LinkedIn aggregates the list of changes for you. You can easily scan the list to keep up with what’s changed. Here’s a quick screen shot of the company I set up to follow today to check out how this works.

How To

Find Companies under the “More” menu. Click on Companies. Search companies you want to track. Once you’ve pulled up their company page…look to the upper right and click on “follow company”. Scan the updates once a day or once a week.

Definitely check it out! Share your success stories.

Since the early days of John Patterson and his NCR sales playbook, “cold calling” seems to be ingrained in the collective sales consciousness as an expected part of the sales process. I still wonder why. Come on. Cold calling doesn’t work (it never has, and I don’t care what that last sales trainer told you).

This ridiculous notion of “dialing for dollars” is so yesterday. Sales people resist cold calling like the plague and with good reason. At some level, they know it doesn’t make any sense to call a stranger and expect them to buy within seconds of receiving their call no matter how charming they may be. Old school sales thinking is that you just call enough numbers and eventually somebody buys. What a waste of time and energy! Not to mention how potential buyers detest this approach. They don’t appreciate your rambling, inarticulate, blathering feature dumps and the evident randomness of the call. As a business owner, I can relate. Maybe I’ll create an audio book one of these days with the “best of the worst” phone calls that I’ve ever received. I save them. Hilarious and painfully sad at the same time. Hint: if you have to cold call then at least do some remedial homework. Make sure I’m in the market for what you sell. Everyone is NOT your customer!

Get over the notion of cold calling. Nobody likes it, it doesn’t work. Instead, what about using social media/social networks, email, Twitter, Facebook, referrals and the like to start paving the way for a great relationship? There is just NO excuse anymore for sales management to think that “dialing for dollars” has much chance at success. Instead, invest time in learning to use social media to augment and extend your sales reach. Insist that your sales people use social tools and social networks to begin conversations that will lead to finding common ground and getting to know each other. Then, when you do reach out to secure that sales appointment there will be nothing cold about it!

Ironic isn’t it? We live and work in a digital age, and the discourse about the power of social media to communicate with potential buyers and current customers in more effective ways reached deafening proportions in 2009. Yet a current poll running over on LinkedIn shows that 46% of the respondents thus far still think that the most effective way to gather customer feedback is in direct, face-to-face meetings. Hum… me thinks there is a disconnect.

Your customers and potential customers are sharing a wealth of information and insight about what they want – online. In 3 easy steps, here’s how you can begin to capitalize on the wealth of opportunity staring you in the face.

1. Determine where your current customer (or prospect) is likely to “participate” online. Don’t assume they are using Facebook or Twitter or any other social technology people tell you is the hot thing. Put your thinking cap on. Consider the demographics of your audience. What do you know about them now that can help you identify where they travel in the online space. EXAMPLE: Your customer is the VP of Sales in technology and telecommunications companies. What does he/she care about? What challenges are top of mind? In what forums or groups are they talking about what they need or wish vendors provided?
2. Listen to what is being said. Now that you know where your customers live…listen to what they are talking about. What questions are they asking? How are they gathering feedback about products and services on the market? Don’t show up in a group and start pitching your wares. Take the time to listen.
3. Engage them in dialog. Ask relevant questions and don’t argue the answers. Defending your turf  only looks and sounds self serving. Your goal is to set your agenda aside. How else can you really understand what is important to your most valuable asset – your customer? Use what you learn to innovate your products and services and build stronger loyalty with your customer base.

It’s hard to know what that 46% was thinking when they answered the question posed in the poll, but it seems certain they may be missing the entire point and opportunity that social media represents.

2009 will be a year remembered for many things. Most of them non too positive. Financial meltdowns, rampant greed, thousands put out of work. Fear, negativity, anger and often complete disrespect for other human beings showed up everywhere. For entrepreneurs, it proved tough just trying to make it through, while at the same time companies beat them down on price and strung out the process of paying their bills to boot. Sales organizations began to finally realize that strategies that used to work, no longer did. Consumer confidence hit an all time low. Not all was gloom and doom though, and what I will remember most is how people began waking up to the power and potential of social media. Budget cuts and spending freezes forced companies to look at new alternatives to old processes that no longer made sense, and that, I think, is a very good thing.

Social Media’s Role in Sales

Here are just a few of the benefits that, I believe, social media brings to the sales process:

• Fill the pipeline with “better qualified” buyers.
• Improved efficiency of lead generation efforts.
• Shrunken sales cycle and reduction in the “cost per sales hour”.
• Increased conversion rate of leads generated to clients enrolled.
• Enhanced customer loyalty that leads to sustained revenue and higher profits.

One key to success using social media as a sales prospecting and lead generation tool is in the ability to reach more people with less effort and cost. It is a way to build visibility, demonstrate expertise and capability to potential buyers, while also keeping abreast of what’s happening on the competitive front. Done well, social media reinforces your brand so that when your ideal buyer is ready to make that purchase, they think of you!

No Magic Bullet

The opportunity to increase sales using social media is real, but success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes thought. It takes planning. It takes training. It takes commitment to use the tools – often. It most definitely requires patience. There is no quick fix, regardless what so many of the so-called “experts”, who inevitably arrived on the scene, would have you believe. They would tell you that the key to success lies in your ability to get 200 Twitter followers a day, and other such silly nonsense.

Getting Results

For each sales organization and sales person, the approach taken and the technologies used will vary, but the fundamentals of getting started will not. Boring as it may sound…determining your purpose, identifying the characteristics of your ideal buyer, developing your brand message and creating your plan are the things that must come first. Without these things, what difference does it make how many people follow you on Twitter or belong to your LinkedIn network? Better to have 20 of the right people following you than 200 of the wrong, an important fact conveniently ignored by those desperate to believe that a social media profile today means an influx of sales tomorrow.

Surprisingly, I just received email from a former colleague that hasn’t said boo to me in years. Now that she’s been displaced from her job, she wants my help (and I assume others) to connect her to new opportunities in other corporate accounts. Hum. I’m all for lending a helping hand…

AND I think it’s just a tad rude to ask me to do something for you when you haven’t kept in touch, nor did you offer to do anything for me in return.

People please don’t let this be you. I am empathetic to people finding themselves suddenly out of work. But it is up to you to keep your network fresh and to stay in touch with people regularly even IF you have a great job today. Lack of time cannot be your excuse. Not when you have plenty of social tools to make your life just a little bit easier.

Remember, you never know when you might need someone’s help down the road. If you haven’t done your part cultivating the relationship, then don’t expect a lot when you need something.

Instantaneous: occurring with no delay; “relief was instantaneous”; “instant gratification”

It is sooo tempting to want instant. Instant success, instant love, instant cash flow, instant sales, instant weight loss…basically, instant results. It’s human I suppose. We feel pain and then want something – anything – to give us instant relief.

Instant is a myth, except perhaps in just one thing. We can instantly decide to change ourselves, our thinking, or our approach if things are not working the way we want them too.

But instant sells.

The problem with wanting – and naively expecting instant – is that it can only lead to more frustration. I don’t know about you, but I have never found that anything actually worth achieving just sort of happened…uh, instantaneously. Though using the word might make for an enticing marketing promotion or book title, the truth is that anyone trying to sell you instant anything is only perpetuating a lie.

Using social media and social networking to boost your sales efforts is no different. You can absolutely “speed up” your success, but it does not happen in an instant. You must determine your purpose, shape your brand, help others, participate often, be persistent, cultivate a following, invest in delivering value to others and be patient. There are no over night successes here. But it will happen IF you decide to…

• Stop going for cheap. Your success requires an investment in time & money to learn from people with proven experience.
• Make time every day - YES, every day! – to participate in the online space…this is part of your sales process NOT an add on!
• Forget the notion of “instant”. Sweat equity is required if you want to create a strong brand presence on AND offline that leads to sales.
• Reset your expectations. I’ve been in sales 30 years and using technology for almost as many…do you really think sitting through a 1/2 day social media class gets you to my level in an instant? It takes time!
• Do your darn homework. If someone says, “I can teach you to get 200 Twitter followers daily.” – you must make sure they are doing it for themselves. It might be important to know if they use the system and tweet themselves. Duh.
• Slow down. Stop being desperate. Be in it for the long term. Think about the message you want to communicate to potential buyers (or employers) who have not met you yet. Craft compelling profiles. Share valuable information. Get help if you need it!

Finally, give up on instant! Decide what you want, believe you can have it, take the massive action required to get there, and you will achieve results! But sorry…it will not happen in an instant.

Twitter as a twool (as cool tech dude, Guy Kawasaki called it) has so much potential. So much more than the average – I’m just getting started with social media types or social media naysayers – realize. More than just a never ending stream of “hey, I’m headed to Starbucks for my daily dose of caffeine” type messages, Twitter gives its community of users the ability to network, share information, recommend others and search out content that is relevant to them.

I had the opportunity to demonstrate Twitter’s power in an “off the cuff” sort of way during a business meeting yesterday…at Brio in Buckhead. Yes, I know it’s crazy, but I do eat lunch. So we were talking about Twitter and I simply asked…what executive level are you trying to reach in corporations to talk with about your services? Sales VP was the answer. Without any real thought or tweaking, I whipped open Twitteriffic on my iPhone and simply typed Sales VP Atlanta. And wouldn’t you know that a major corporation in Atlanta had just placed a hiring notice for that exact position within their company. You’re saying to yourself, Barb is that really so interesting? You bet. It just so happened that this particular company is EXACTLY who my lunch guest had been trying to penetrate to not only discuss services, but because she works for a major placement firm, she knew that several of her clients fit the bill for the position. She was stunned! It didn’t occur to her to use Twitter as an alternative mechanism to traditional job boards.

The story I just shared is why I love Twitter. It is more than dribble about where people are eating breakfast. There is power and potential beyond what many people realize.

Now for the story of why I don’t like Twitter! Or maybe I should say that it is the users without a clue who leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I wasn’t with Twitter from the beginning, but I’m told by those in the know that it used to be totally about building relationships. There was a genuineness about wanting to get to know the people who wanted to follow you.

By the time I came on the scene, there was definitely a divide between the camp of people (like me) who think you use the tool to build visibility, credibility and relationships without spamming the network and those people who think there is nothing wrong with spitting out one tweet after another that is merely a sleazy sales pitch.

And now we have the abusive use of the direct message feature aka DM. It is used to SPAM people who have decided to follow what you have to say. It works like this…I decide to follow Johnny, because he seems sort of cool and his tweets are interesting. Minutes after I click the “follow” button, I receive in my Twitter inbox a direct message that is “automated” and says something like…”hey, thanks for the follow…check out or buy or sign up for my whatever…” It is all about what they have to sell without any thought as to whether I’m their buyer or not. Slinging hash on the wall basically.

Look at the picture I’ve included with my post…these are some of the messages sitting in my inbox right now. First it is…”now follow me on Facebook”. Then it’s “cool affiliate program”. Next comes “wanna make some moola?” And my personal favorite, “I just added you to my Mafia family, you should join.” Sure, I’ll get right on that.

Do you really think any of these people care about getting to know Barb? No way. I cannot stand this practice so much that the 35 people who’ve done it to me recently are now being booted from my network.

Sales people (and anyone who sells a product or service) take note. This is NOT what buyers want. In fact, they are tired of being inundated with this sort of garbage. It is what gives social media sites like Twitter a bad name. Some of us truly do want to create value and develop relationships that ultimately lead to sales. In my opinion, these DM tactics are used by people either ignorant about the impression they are creating about themselves, or they are so desperate to make a sale that they don’t care.

I’m curious, what do you think?

Twitter as a twool (as cool tech dude, Guy Kawasaki called it) has so much potential. So much more than the average – I’m just getting started with social media types or social media naysayers – realize. More than just a never ending stream of “hey, I’m headed to Starbucks for my daily dose of caffeine” type messages, Twitter gives its community of users the ability to network, share information, recommend others and search out content that is relevant to them.

I had the opportunity to demonstrate Twitter’s power in an “off the cuff” sort of way during a business meeting yesterday…at Brio in Buckhead. Yes, I know it’s crazy, but I do eat lunch. So we were talking about Twitter and I simply asked…what executive level are you trying to reach in corporations to talk with about your services? Sales VP was the answer. Without any real thought or tweaking, I whipped open Twitteriffic on my iPhone and simply typed Sales VP Atlanta. And wouldn’t you know that a major corporation in Atlanta had just placed a hiring notice for that exact position within their company. You’re saying to yourself, Barb is that really so interesting? You bet. It just so happened that this particular company is EXACTLY who my lunch guest had been trying to penetrate to not only discuss services, but because she works for a major placement firm, she knew that several of her clients fit the bill for the position. She was stunned! It didn’t occur to her to use Twitter as an alternative mechanism to traditional job boards.

The story I just shared is why I love Twitter. It is more than dribble about where people are eating breakfast. There is power and potential beyond what many people realize.

Now for the story of why I don’t like Twitter! Or maybe I should say that it is the users without a clue who leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I wasn’t with Twitter from the beginning, but I’m told by those in the know that it used to be totally about building relationships. There was a genuineness about wanting to get to know the people who wanted to follow you.

By the time I came on the scene, there was definitely a divide between the camp of people (like me) who think you use the tool to build visibility, credibility and relationships without spamming the network and those people who think there is nothing wrong with spitting out one tweet after another that is merely a sleazy sales pitch.

And now we have the abusive use of the direct message feature aka DM. It is used to SPAM people who have decided to follow what you have to say. It works like this…I decide to follow Johnny, because he seems sort of cool and his tweets are interesting. Minutes after I click the “follow” button, I receive in my Twitter inbox a direct message that is “automated” and says something like…”hey, thanks for the follow…check out or buy or sign up for my whatever…” It is all about what they have to sell without any thought as to whether I’m their buyer or not. Slinging hash on the wall basically.

Look at the picture I’ve included with my post…these are some of the messages sitting in my inbox right now. First it is…”now follow me on Facebook”. Then it’s “cool affiliate program”. Next comes “wanna make some moola?” And my personal favorite, “I just added you to my Mafia family, you should join.” Sure, I’ll get right on that.

Do you really think any of these people care about getting to know Barb? No way. I cannot stand this practice so much that the 35 people who’ve done it to me recently are now being booted from my network.

Sales people (and anyone who sells a product or service) take note. This is NOT what buyers want. In fact, they are tired of being inundated with this sort of garbage. It is what gives social media sites like Twitter a bad name. Some of us truly do want to create value and develop relationships that ultimately lead to sales. In my opinion, these DM tactics are used by people either ignorant about the impression they are creating about themselves, or they are so desperate to make a sale that they don’t care.

I’m curious, what do you think?